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Dear Alone,
At this stage in life, any number of factors could cause your wife’s sexual appetite to diminish: hormonal changes/menopause, stress, fatigue, poor body image, and even—quite frankly—boredom. The first step in re-igniting your sex life is to try to identify what is causing this lag, and the only way to do that is ask. Try to approach your wife in a non-confrontational, non-judgmental way and ask her if she is able to explain her feelings towards sex.
Whatever the explanation, do your best to convey to her in a loving way that you are still very attracted to her sexually, and that it is never too late to start experimenting in the bedroom. Don’t feel pressured to jump into things right away; it’s perfectly okay to start slowly. Make out like you did when you were first dating, or try to recreate your wedding night. Take the time to remind each other what made you sexually attractive to each other at the start of your relationship, as well as what it is that keeps you together and in love today.
If your wife admits that boredom, frustration, or utter lack of physical interest in sex is the culprit, it’s time to call in the pros. Seek couples/sex counseling together to learn how to better communicate your needs. If your wife suspects hormones are at fault, encourage her to talk to her doctor about possible treatments to get her juices flowing again. If you are both willing to put in the effort, there is no reason you can’t keep the romance alive long into the golden years.
The Sexpert |
