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Dear Inside-Out,
My first response to your question is to ask you whether or not you are able to reach orgasm with clitoral stimulation. Because if you are, what’s wrong with that? Why are you so determined to have only vaginal orgasms? There is no real difference in the quality of the orgasm—one kind isn’t necessarily better than the other. Try to keep that in mind before you stress out too much about whether or not you are able to come vaginally.
That said, the first step you should take is to locate your G-spot and experiment with various kinds of stimulation using fingers or dildos. The G-spot is the back of the urethral sponge, about a finger’s length deep inside the vagina on the front wall (toward the belly.) It’s best to do this after you are already sexually aroused, as increased blood flow to the area will make the G-spot easier to locate. Once you accomplish this, see if you are able to reach orgasm via G-spot stimulation from a finger, dildo, or vibrator before attempting intercourse.
If you are able to come using these techniques, then try various sexual positions that allow your partner’s penis to create friction on the G-spot, replicating the kind of stimulation that brought you to orgasm in the experimental stage as closely as possible. One suggestion is to try having him enter you from behind with your hips propped up on pillows, allowing his penis to rub against the front wall of your vagina.
If you aren’t able to come this way or have trouble finding your G-spot, don’t stress. There is some serious debate among sexual health experts as to whether or not the G-spot even exists at all! And if you normally have clitoral orgasms, you can still come during intercourse. Just try different positions that allow you or your partner to stimulate your clitoris at the same time. You might try getting on top so you can rub your clitoris against his pubic bone while you ride him, or try having him enter you from behind while you hold a vibrator against your clitoris.
The Sexpert |